I’m writing this by candlelight. It’s ‘Earth Hour 2011’, and it feels good to be part of the ever increasing global awareness of the power – and the plight – of mother nature. And what is the nature of a mother if not love? Earth Hour is an opportunity for millions of people across the world to send a signal of respect to the Mother of life.

Meanwhile, off the coast of Japan, radiation is leaking into the sea and plutonium is saturating the soil, highlighting the gross ineptitude of the industrial giants whose massively over-inflated egos insist on leading the way for humanity. At the same time, a year after the diabolical BP oil spill off the Louisiana coast, giant ‘dead zones’ are appearing in the Gulf of Mexico. And we continue to hack away at her.

So, here I sit on my candle-lit porch, ironically screened-in to protect me from Mother Nature (Florida style), writing in the first person, which is something I rarely do. My ego is with me this evening, and I am trying to help it understand itself so that it can evolve along with the rest of me.

Ego is insecure and often uncooperative because it is blamed for everything that goes wrong in our lives and in the world. Often ego is the problem – and just as often it’s not. It gets blamed anyway because we need a scapegoat for our shortcomings. We must stop blaming ego for our inability to move beyond our current point of view.

We cannot just kill the ego and expect to be whole. The ego is an essential aspect of life which enables us to recognize ourselves as the unique individuals that each of us are. If we lose our individuality, we can never know what it means to be ONE – the number of individuality and self-awareness.

Ego is our sense of self, and instead of trying to kill or subdue it, we must allow it to gain the consciousness we have never allowed it to have. We are not meant to destroy the ego. We are meant to keep it balanced between over-inflation and self denial.

It’s that simple, and yet finding the balance is a complicated process. Nevertheless, we have to find a way to do it. Until we do, those whose ego’s are monstrously over-inflated will always be able to maintain control.

We are evolving from 1 to 2. From the 1000s to the 2000s. We are evolving from the war-ravaged ‘man’s world’ of raw unevolved masculine energy, to a more balanced mix of both masculine and feminine. This influx of emotional energy, which exists in both women and men, is the key to that balance.

The feminine has never had the chance to function as the source of unconditional love she is meant to be. She is YIN. She is feeling. She is magnetism. She is the darkness which enables light to shine. She is the opener of space into which creativity flows and unfolds. She is the giver of life. She attracts and is attracted. She is attraction. She is the love in you that has never been allowed to surface. She is empathy. She is your depth. And you are a wonderful multi-dimensional feeling, thinking, emotional, spiritual, and ever-evolving electro / magnetic / biological being.

We are in the process of leaving the shallows and shadows of a cruel, limited and unintelligent system, the success of which depends on keeping people unaware of how it really works. It can only thrive if people are unconscious. That is why the ‘dumbing down’ of the population is such an important part of the agenda.

The power of this system is secrecy. Its greatest weapon is deception. It must constantly create illusions to fool the people into believing that this is how life is meant to be – and that we should all be very grateful for it too.

But the internet has changed all that. As we evolve toward truth and openness, we have opened up space – cyberspace – a world wide web – for the purpose of helping us to express ourselves openly and truthfully. Through the internet, humanity has externalized its emotional body – its WILL – which can only survive through outward expression. It is a wonderful evolutionary tool, but perhaps the internet is just a practice run for the real thing.

The emotional WILL of the people must be healed on the inside so that it can start to function as the power it is meant to be, rather than the weakness we have been led to believe it is.

For a long time I thought of the ‘net’ or ‘web’ as some kind of trap or snare (and it certainly can be should you become addicted to it). But it is also a kind of ‘safety net’ – a place to practice being our true selves, even though many, at this stage, choose to do so ‘anonymously’.

It is strange for me to write with my ego present, but I am learning how to accept my sense of self in a way that enables it to learn, too. We cannot be whole without the ego. This essential part of our being deserves a much deeper understanding than we currently possess. We cannot understand our emotions, or our minds for that matter, while the ego remains so out of balance. The ruling forces are not the ruling forces. The ‘little people’ are not the little people. We are one. We are equal. But we are misinformed about our very identities.

Imbalanced ego can originate from a variety of sources, the most common of which is misinformation that was ingrained in childhood. When the ego understands its own history, it can heal from it. But our egos cannot recognize our true selves if we are not true to ourselves – honest with ourselves. We lie to ourselves about a whole range of things. As we evolve into openness and honesty, that’s something else we have to recognize and stop doing.

We have all been injured by this failing system, although most people are unaware of the extent of the damage. The shallowness we have been confined to has cut us off from our depth. It has caused us to go numb – to feel nothing… our very own dead zones… in the very areas that can help us bring a more livable and lovable way of life into being.

What’s gone numb are our feelings, emotions, senses, instincts and, ultimately, our ability to feel and sense our way through the multi-dimensions of life. Meanwhile, events are taking place in the outer world which are triggering our emotions like never before. Coming out of denial and seeing things as they really are is an inescapable part of our healing. And we will never be able to survive if we don’t find new solutions to those outer problems instead of making matters worse by refusing to learn.

It is our sensory system that needs to heal – our feminine energy – the mother that exists in each and every one of us – THE WILL. Consciousness makes those feelings conscious by becoming conscious of them – aware of them – accepting of them – and interpreting the messages they emit. You cannot interpret a feeling, or know its force or magnitude, or what triggered it, if you refuse to feel it. Feelings cannot be expressed or understood through mental concept or mere ‘observation’. You have to really FEEL a feeling, no matter how unpleasant it is at the time. When you realize that feeling on this level indicates that you are healing your WILL to live  and survive, you start to welcome those feelings. You start to feel more fully alive!

The evolutionary dynamic here is quite sexual because masculine electricity and feminine magnetism are vibrating together. This is the energy of conception itself occurring within the human form, and an opportunity for the birth of a concept; a unique idea – a brain child – a love child.

There is nothing we need more right now than an opening of the imagination and the flow of new, practical and worthwhile concepts – truly new ideas, and not just new ways of presenting the same old way of thinking. “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking that created them.” How true, Einstein!

Neither can we accept the implementation of ideas that would take us backward to places we really don’t want to revisit. But the only way to avoid that is to be more aware of history, our own personal history included, and more determined to heal from it.

We must be equally determined not to let those massively inflated egos, in their desperate bid to hold on to power, force people back into the deadness of denial by manipulating the truth and distorting reality.

Awareness is the greatest safety net of all.

How else can we measure the quality of life if not by the way we feel about it. To feel is to sense and intuit. Sensitivity, intuition, emotion, feelings, are all different words which describe the MAGNETISM – the WILL of humanity – without which we are only half aware, half alive.

We have entered a segment of the human journey in which we have a chance to heal the damaged feelings of a lifetime by allowing them to express themselves. Only by healing that great backlog of emotions within can our feminine energy reach its true position of equality with the electric masculine energy of consciousness. But each of us must take full responsibility for our own feelings. No matter how intense they become, they must never be used to harm yourself or anyone else. Emotions are not weapons. They are your feminine energy, your sensory system, your personal honesty and a principle guide to the journey.

Emotions are not products of the ego. The ego has its own purpose which must be allowed to surface now. We must help the ego evolve by giving it acceptance. It cannot progress without that. If ego is one’s sense of self, then SELF ACCEPTANCE is what needs to occur now if we are ever to change our world for the better.

Self acceptance is the most important lesson of the number 1 and we cannot evolve to the next level, 2, until we are able to accept and love every part of us. Only then can we truly accept others.

Once we accept that our healing and growth depend on balancing the ego, not eliminating it, the ego will develop its own desire to mature and evolve, so that it can play its true and vital role in our ongoing journey of discovery.

When we are being truly creative, the ego has no inclination to wrestle with love because the ego wants to be loved too.

The ego’s purpose is to keep us balanced between outright selfishness and self-depreciation.

Our world is full of symbolism some of which is difficult to look at, let alone accept. The true nature of our system is being reflected to us in many forms, which show us how essentially cruel it is. It is a system that will do anything to stop you from feeling your true feelings – anything to stop the rise of the feminine.

These are pictures of the feminine being cruelly put down. This is emotional and physical abuse at a horribly depraved level. Masculine dominating  feminine. The electrical mind against the magnetic emotions. The war of the sexes. The war against equality and fairness. This is the state of humanity’s WILL.

Her name is Iman al-Obeidi – a beautiful daughter, sister, mother, grand daughter, fellow human being and individual soul. There is a part of her in all of us. I pray for her safety and healing.

UPDATE via Wikipedia: She was released from government detention after three days, and was interviewed several times by Libya TV—an opposition satellite channel—and by CNN, during which she offered graphic details of her rape and subsequent detention by government officials. She fled Libya with a defecting military officer, who helped her cross into Tunisia, dressed in a Berber tribal costume to hide her identity. She was initially offered protection from European diplomats in Qatar and applied for refugee status there. After initially protecting her, Qatar soon forcibly deported her back to Libya. On June 4, she was granted asylum in the United States with the help of Hillary Clinton.

Don’t think that this assault on the feminine is confined to the Middle East. It is happening everywhere! But we tend to ignore situations like this because we don’t like the way it makes us feel. Situations such as the trafficking of women and children for sex or labor, or the snatching of children from their homes and cruelly turning them into soldiers. Domestic and workplace abuse. Police brutality. The dismantling of human rights. It is reflected in all forms of cruelty, including cruelty to animals. And it is happening within us all every time we refuse to allow our feminine emotions to express themselves.

Mother Earth needs to be healed, not by devising new ways to disguise the symptoms, but by dealing with the direct cause of her distress and dis-ease. We must express how we feel so that the feeling can heal and return to LOVE. To heal Earth, we must heal ourselves.


2011 is a 4 year in the world, which places significant emphasis on our sense of identity, among other things.  On April 4, 2011, we experience the numerical pattern of 4  4  4. Now that should be interesting! I’ll be writing about it soon…..


About Christine DeLorey

Numerologist and author of LIFE CYCLES Your Emotional Journey To Freedom And Happiness (ISBN: 0-9673130-9-0). Author of the nine-book series: CREATIVE NUMEROLOGY Your Journey Through The Cycles Of Time. My main website is:
This entry was posted in numerology and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. I totally enjoyed this writing & found spaces for thought about the current opening of feelings & emotions that can be addressed in the online world. Thank you Christine for the wonderful writing 🙂


  2. Keith says:

    Amazing as always. Your articles give me so much to think about and reflect on every single time. This is the first thing I’ve ever read that put the ego in a good light. So many teachings involve silencing and stifling the ego, but that seems to be just another form of denial.

    Thank you for the insight, you are truly gifted.


  3. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for your very clear psychological and spiritual understanding of where we are all coming from and evolving through to become balanced whole expressions of who we are intended to be. I really appreciate the amount of time and love that so many people like you are putting into informing us on so many levels. I can see in my mind one candle flame lighting one by one the candles we hold as we pass the flame to one another, seven billion flames; wow, what brilliance. All it takes is passing it on, and on and on … Namaste, Jeanine


  4. Judith says:

    I agree with what you have said about Ego. I find myself defending or trying to explain Ego to many spiritual people who feel Ego is the “villan” We absolutely need to balance our Ego but our Ego is the driving force which thrusts us foreword in our physical life! It is the energy needed to propell us forward. Sincerely Judith


  5. Pingback: OUR 19-1 KARMIC RUT - Creative Numerology by Christine DeLorey

  6. Amanda says:

    🙏 Thank you.


  7. OlejVoonya says:

    I love you for writing this! I understand this deeply. Thank you!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.